Clark Kent Effect, who are we?

we live in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors but we dust our furniture with real lemons. This seems to me to be a bit of a identity crisis. I see this a lot, not only as a nation but defiantly in the area i call home "I don't think America will have really made it until we have our own salad dressing. Until then we are stuck behind the French,Italians, Russians and Caesarians." ~Pat McNelis

This quote rings true in the panhandle of Florida. When i actually sit down and try to define OUR cuisine we don't have one. we are hiding behind the black rimmed glasses of NOLA, with a hint of BBQ, and then a hodge podge of at least 7 military bases with in 65 miles of me. Who are we, What is our cuisine.

Great food is like great sex, the more you have it the more you want it. I have had some great food in New Orleans, but we are not NOLA here, we are Destin, Pensacola, Fort Walton Beach, Niceville and in between. People of Nola think that just cause it is great that it will work here, but it hasn't, time and time again.

NOLA powerhouses have come over, and failed and fallen like Goliath. When i want Commanders Palace, I want it in NOLA in the garden district. Not some imitation or diet version of it in Destin. People do not come to this area thinking this is going to be New Orleans but with the best beaches in the world. It is not, it cant be, for one we in Florida don't allow our kids to drink in restaurants with parents consent. we don't have this overwhelming sense to show what our mamma gave us for a pair of plastic needs. Gumbo is great, but fuck me running i don't want it every meal, or on every menu as the only soup choice.

There really is a lack of identity here, but how do we find it? we are a revolving door of people here. Remember plant a radish, get a radish, never any doubt. I love vegetables for this reason,there is never any doubt, you know what you are getting. What are we getting?

We need to come into our own be comfortable in our own skin, it is time for a coming of age and have our own idenity and maybe stop following around the IT crowd from high school.

Bait and Fight Dancing...

I have been having this recurring dream every night that I am part of this fight club, but I never get to actually fight. Being part of this team, it is like fight club meets a bit of mortal combat. They call me "toque." I think this speaks to my hate of wearing a hat, and fighting. But more than this recurring dream I am waking up super hungry every morning. Not just I need a bowl or cereal hungry but more a long the lines of longing for food, like i have been banished to a culinary waste land.

If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate. Cause i know the last thing I want to do is cook myself a grande meal that early in the morning. I have stated that brunch, breakfast, is one of my favorite meals. I hate cooking it. No one should work before breakfast, if you have to work before breakfast eat breakfast first. I don't know what could be a worse fate is waking up at o-dark-thirty and then have to crack eggs for a hour to work a omelet station. Cooking breakfast for the masses is up there with my hate for artichokes. All the trouble you go through to actually get a bit of "food" from the artichoke would much rather lick postage stamps.

i don't know what i am going to do about this problem i have, maybe i need to fight someone wearing a toque, while cracking eggs? Capoeria maybe?

I came across Capoeria after a great meal this weekend, no i actually wasn't fight dancing, Sushi, yes though sushi should never be a first date choice, cause its lack of ability to look sexy as you shove maki rolls in your mouth. It seems that as of lately the only good meals I can get in this area is Sushi.

Bamboo, in Crestview, with Danny, and all the Mikes that work there really take care of you. It is like walking into the cheers version of a sushi bar, they remember your name, and after a bunch of banter and a few wise cracks the great food comes out. This is where i had the best fish dishes on the panhandle, makerel collar with citrus ponzu, and then this rice porridge with salmon skin, dashi, tofu. yes please more... starting to rub my belly thinking about this porridge

Ichiban, in Pensacola, this is where the fight dancing was taken place. The food was spot on, with a menu of rolls as thick as a bible, it seems like a daunting task to find what to eat. I chose chefs choice of sashami and a a roll with soft shell crab, my dining partner after doing a few back flips and kicking me in the shins, ordered a few rolls and we were off to great conversation. The food was great, but it did not compare to the company, it seem there was never a lack of good convo and laughs, it even spilled over to a smokey dive bar, and I love dive bars!

Both of these places have great food, but more than anything it is about the company you keep. A bad meal can be trumped by great company which is what i have when at bamboo, or had this Sunday. I think i have found my sushi places, though Sushi Moto, in Sandestin, to see my favorite Mike is next. I am going to hunt for great Mexican, they have a word for sushi in mexico...bait

photo credit: Chase Jarvis, www.chasejarvis.com (this guy is a pure genius and one of the nicest guys I know)

Sunday FUNday

Sunday brunch is one of those great meal times for me, after a long week and most likely a long weekend of drinking, I get to sit down with my brother and eat and reflect on the weekend. We maybe at a bar while I write this, but we have a good old buddy here, his names is whiskey and wine, And for my good old buddy I spent my last dime. My wine is good to me it helps me pass the time, and my good old buddy whiskey keeps me warmer than the sunshine.

The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?” “No sir,” little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to. My mom is a good cook.”

Sunday is always a day of rest. A good Sunday fried chicken, with all the fixins. Or a BBQ outside to really feel that warmth of a summer sun. I like to come to a local place in my hometown and sit back joke around and make sure that my server feels just as good as I do, cause they have tried there damnedest. Food and service is the core of of what I do, and even on my day off I still try to think as if I am in there shoes.

Sundays are not only time for Sunday brunch, though a meal at Springhill in Seattle is what I need, but a time for reflection. We all do this type of reflections in different places. So like to do it at church, Sunday school, on a beach. I prefer a restaurant.




One thing that is very common is the people at Sunday brunch. From my time served in Jackson, MS to Niceville, FL, we are blessed in this industry to be given the chance to serve on "church people." You know, the one who get to church early, stay a bit late, and then cut you off in the parking lot to get to the front of the salad bar at Ruby Tuesday's.

Now there is a big difference between people who go to church and "church people." and the difference does not matter if you are in a mom n' pop place or corprate place, these people are all over. The profile for them are usually double ice tea, one half and half, one two straws no lemons, one with half sprite and please make sure the sugar caddy is in alphabetical order. Ohh and there is a coupon involved and they are very proud to tell you that. Well it really is just a warning flag that they are flying to tell you you are not going to get tipped, but they are going to tell you tat Jesus will keep them warmer than sunshine.

But what people forget, no matter if they are "church people" or a white collar business man, that we live off tips. That yes I would love to hear your pastors sermon, but I can't cause while you are a walking contradiction, we still have to work on Sunday's so we can afford rent, and to keep our power on. Jesus does keep me warm inside, but I have never seen his name on my power bill.

Good food, good service, quality gets all. A bad meal can be won over by a smile and the willingness to make sure you are comfortable. Remembering your name when you sit at a bar, or your server saying hi to you as if they are your neighbors, sometimes it is not the meal it's self that makes it but the people you are with and around.

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Lusting, loving, and Lard

You know when the sun comes out and our internal core tempature starts to rise there is that feeling of "love" in the air. I am not a bitter bachelor but holy hell i think i have seen about 6 engagements in the past week for friends. Buying a ticket to fly to South Africa, for a wedding, doesn't help the cause either

But this August heat may have me in more pure lust than it does love. The heat of summer really more than anything wants me to check out farms for the late summer crops and see what is new and around, or has everything been exhausted from this lustful summer love. What I have found that even in this heat there are so many things to cook and eat, though it may look like all I want is take-out.




Walking by a hog pen is one thing I don't like doing this time of year. I now know what a fried turd smells like and I am really not proud of it, but all that aside I love cooking pork, year round. But especially in the summer, and I cook with pork fat year round.

There are many types of useful pork fats, including rendered lard and leaf lard, bacon drippings, fatback, salt pork, and caul fat. Nutritionally, home-rendered pastured pork fat has no trans fat, and has saturated fat that contains stearic acid, which may have a beneficial effect on cholesterol. Lard is also one of the fats high in oleic acid, the fatty acid that is said to be responsible for so many of olive oil's benefits. It also preserve! food.

So really quite complaining when you come into my restaurant and you find out I fry in lard... It's good for you!




I don't know how good it is for you when you know the pig, or have named the animal. There are a lot of talks I have had on if you should or should not name your animals. My own feeling is that names come by chance most of the time, like big pig, black cow, so why not give them a name and respect their idenity.

Of course, when you are at the table and eating "lenards" loin, could not be as easy. But no less easy eating steer number 65 that comes off the feed lot, if you have cared them there whole life then why not name them.

I can only speak from my very limited, I mean very limited know how, is that giving animals the best life possible and humane death goes a long way to making the process easier.

This hot summer, makes me lust full for a lot of things and one of them is great food with great friends. Go hug someone and go support a local joint!


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Organic VS natural

Which should we use? Organic or natural, local or organic, it is one of the soap boxes I will always stand on and spout my opinion on what I believe is true, and right.

Organic... A common compliant, and one of my own, is that organic foods are too expensive and the cost doesn't seem real. Most of us do not know how much we are already paying for the "inexpensive" conventional foods, and this is before we have even walked into a super market. But when I break it down on how much the "inexpensive" foods cost here is kind of what it looks like.

Agricultural fuel paid by our taxes, 22 billion
Direct farm bill subsidies for corn and wheat 3 billion
Treatment of food related illness 10 billion
Agriculture chemical clean up cost 17 billion
Collateral cost of pesticides use 8 billion
Cost of nutrients lost to erosion 20 billion
Equals to about 80 BILLION

80 billion equals to about $725 per household each year. That sticker price buys our "inexpensive" foods.

But why organic then? Organic practices build rather than destroy or deplete the soil by using manure and cover crops. They don't use pesticides and herbicides, instead using biological pest controls and a little old fashion weed pulling here and there. Have a bevy of different crops, and manage and rotate them from year to year.



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The corporate MoMster

There is this recent, well not really recent, witch hunt to take down any food source or corporate monster that is making our children, and well nation fat. A recent article taken stated that McDonalds ness to retire Ronald. Really What the Hell? They have seemingly place him up there with the likes of Joe Camel and Spud Mckenzie, and anyone else who was petaling there goods to children. I find this really bad, that we are wanting restaurants, and corporations to raise and make sure they have good eating habits.

Honey child let me tell you something, you may need to put down the mega stacked oreo and plate of all you can eat three differnt way fried shrimp, cause even that much black, or purple, is not slimming! Don't blame Ronald cause you think that is is ok to have fast food four or more times a week cause that is all your kid will eat. Then have the balls to complain cause your kids are fat and malnutrition is setting in.

It is not the responsibility of a multi million dollar restaurant chain to teach YOUR kid or YOU how to eat. That is you and you alone job to teach good eating. I personally think that Ronald and his McDonald have done a good job in the past years to try and be healthier.

I love carny food, anything from my hometown mullett festivel and just love to have some good ole fried food! it is sort of a comfort that when in a bad mood you can find solice in a treat that will instantly cheer you up! But I don't eat it on a daily basis, and I don't see it as a treat, it is just the occasional meal here and their.

BUT there is this deadly threat out that, and i am not talking about all the process foods, yellow number 78, and phosphate, gamates, and anything that big ole purple ree ree from McDonalds. It is the loss of traditions, and knowing where our food comes from.

We fear the unknown, we don't know why we make foods the way our mothers and grandmother did. We don't know where to get it, buy it, source it. We have this sense that everything comes pre packaged for us ready to go, just order it off a menu. So no wonder food is scary to kids, they don't know about it.

I think it is time to stop blaming others for obesity, malnutrition, and realize that it is the person in the mirror. Not a guy in a yellow jump suit selling heifers with his ree ree purple friend. It is not a corporations job to be a Mom or Dad.


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Parsley, Sage dating advice, Rosemary and Thyme

As a chef I get a lot of fun, and or funny questions. Especially about dating, and what to cook, how to score etc etc. Since Tucker Duke's has opened and it is a lunch counter the conversations have been quite funny. And it doesn't hurt when Uncle Danny Ray is around...

What's the sexiest food?

Oysters. Just looking at an oyster makes you think of something anatomical.
I also find Uni very sexy, it is more about the velvet texture, and the paired with homemade pasta, garlic and chilies damn I am ready to go!

But Anyone who knows me knows I'm a big, big, big believer in liver. It has to be the sexiest food on the planet. The custardy texture, the intense flavor, you have to submit to liver, take it all the way in. A good rare beef liver is like being banged hard against a wall in a skeezy alley behind a nightclub. This is sexy...


(beef liver and bacon, with creamy polenta)

What's the best meal to prepare for someone I'm trying to seduce?

Keep it light, simple, salads, fish, dessert is a must... If your seductions works you'll thank me later...

How did I get food writers and pretty girls to come over to eat my food?

Really this comes down to just promise to cook for them, and or just say that there is food here.. But I needed to casually impress. Something like the culinary equivalent of carefully procured bedhead. "Oh, this old thing? I just whip this up when I don't care what I'm eating." But don't promise them fancy. Totally authentic borscht or tripe soup like your daddy used to make. If you brag about your single-batch Ecuadorian free-trade chocolate I guarantee you'll look like an asshole.

I'm seeing someone I'm marginally into. We're having fun, but I know I don't want to get serious. At what point do I have to break it off?

The moment you feel like there more into you than you're into them. Stringing someone along like that is deplorable. People deserve honesty, and if you're honest with him from the beginning about your intentions and he's okay with that, keep going. If you feel you're being duplicitous, you should end it right away. As soon as you know it's going to hurt them terribly. If you're both in it for the short run, no harm, no foul. If he/she starts wanting to make you waffles in bed, that's a sure sign there in too deep, and you gotta go.


My boy/girl friend of eight months and I are thinking of moving in together, but we can only afford a studio. What should we do?

Don't do it... At least get a one bedroom or don't do it! Why don't you also open up a small business as well as the same time that way you have zero time away from each other... Space may be the final frontier but it is good in a relationship.


What should I cook for someone I want a long-term relationship with?

Something homey like spaghetti and meatballs. If you're making a family recipe, you're opening up the conversation to talk about your past. Bt really anything that takes a bit of time and that is shown but not spoken about. You will look like a tart if you are stroking your self about how long you spent in the kitchen. Cause I know I can do just as well with half the time! Under stated meals, that having meaning are the best.



I want to make a sex tape with the guy/ girl I'm seeing, but he's hesitant. How do I make him more comfortable with the idea?

First off why do people expect me to know how to get someone on video doing something primal, and carnal?

Unless you're super-hot and skilled in cinematic lighting, I really think making a sex tape is a bad idea. My porno experience is pretty much limited to internet pop-up ads, ok not really, but I am definitely familiar with food porn. And I know that lots of amateur photographers put some really disgusting-looking, badly lit, poorly styled food on their personal blogs.

I mean just look at the bad lighting in this hotel bathroom you think your going. To look flattering while doing the horizontal hula?



I'm going on my third date with a guy whose birthday is this weekend. What can I plan that will be "birthday special," but not too romantic or intense for a third date?

Cupcakes! No really who doesn't like fucking cupcakes, but find out what there favorite flavor is and make sure that is there... I once had a girl make me cake with a dragon on it. It was a hand drawn dragon. And it was one of the nicest gifts ever, next to the record player and lemon blue berry cake... Ok really just get some kind of cake, but not some grocery store bastard version of cake, spend some dough, you might even get a piece.... And I'm not talking about cake there!



I love Martha Stewart, she would get lucky if she made me cup cakes...


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